He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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