How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Sorry about my life...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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