dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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