Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize