Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Dear god my vagina.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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