After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
