she looked like the before picture.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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