Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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