he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
