"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
