I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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