so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
