when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
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she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
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Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize