Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
