The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Pooping to opera.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
