i permit you to call me
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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