Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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