"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
