1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
