Sry I called you an 8
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
