shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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