We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize