I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I touched a dick in church today
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
