Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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