No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
