I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize