Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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