I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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