Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm at about main and main street
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
