Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
is that a dick in a sweater?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
