Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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