I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
