I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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