maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
