My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
