My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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