Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
