Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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