I think I am morally bankrupt
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
