I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
