Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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