We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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