drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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