OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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