He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
