Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
