Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
