I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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