He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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