If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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