you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You ruined the universe
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
