I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
