If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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