very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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