love makes seman taste better
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
