wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
