Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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