She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
