I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Why is there bacon in the couch?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
