I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
