Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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