I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
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Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
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I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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